Dear Readers of this Blog,
I have an important announcement to make:
(but don’t worry, it’s nothing serious)

It has come to my attention that there have been wars, I mean complaints and rumors of complaints that there has been very little action on this blog. Which means, I guess, that I should dispel all of the myths and conspiracy theories which I’m sure don’t abound in the blogosphere. So here’s the grand abolishment of all of the above: We Haven’t Written Anything Lately. And so there you have it. (in other words (to condense the prior paragraph) there hasn’t been any action on this blog.) (And all this merely proves that I can write all that and basically say absolutely nothing!)

I am happy :-) to report that I’m now feeling quite a bit better after being under the weather for about a week (off and on). I am sad :-( to report that now Mom and Jonathan seem to be suffering from the same blasted bug.

However, (as some of you may have guessed by now) I’m not feeling particularly serious tonight, so bear with me. (it was you who asked for a post after all) (although perhaps that could be developed into a strategy for generating comments, you know that whole prolonged absence bit…)

Here’s a piece I wrote some time ago but never really finished, and of course never posted. But perhaps it will amuse y’all for a bit so have at it. (While your readin’ that I’ll just mosey on and write a bit more–see ya in two shakes of a dog’s tail (provided you have a slow tail wagging type))

“The shades of evening come all too soon, daybreak is later, and still there seems to be no time to rest.

Tonight I stayed home from AWANA because of an incident I had with a logging chain. The whole thing started (and ended) at the W. family farm….We were trying to accomplish a simple task–take hay to the sheep in the first field which is covered in about six inches of snow and is not affording much forage at this point in time. To do this we load round bales on to flat rack hay wagons with the skid-steer and pull them out to the field with a tractor. I warmed up the ol’ Ford 7000 and hooked onto the load. The main problem with that choice of horsepower is that Ford (as we affectionately call her) don’t have enough weight to say so, and thus in the winter she is apt to sit and spin. Which is what she did. We got her started with a little push from the skid-steer and and I made it as far as the road. Where I stopped to let Daniel climb aboard. That was a mistake. Now I couldn’t get started again. (This could (should?) have made us think about getting the bigger tractor right there) So once again I got moving with a shove from the skid-steer (which now has new tires that make it possible to actually do more that just sit and spin-and that was on concrete in the middle of the summer) and this time I kept on going. The road was so icy that Ford did a lot of spinning even once she was going. (Another clue) Now to get to the pasture, you drive down the road aways (maybe a 1/4 mile) and then through a couple of railroad ties and down a lane. Or I should say UP a lane…. Now can you guess where I next ground to a spinning halt? Yup, half way up the hill. Great. Now what? Well, Daniel came up with his Dad’s old four wheel drive pick up. He pushed. The tractors wheels spun. The truck’s wheels spun. We didn’t move so much as an inch. So we went back to the “farm” and got the International 1066 (the “10”) and a couple of little chains. Now I mentioned chains seemed kinda small for the job at hand, but we were in a hurry (as usual) and Dan didn’t know where the big chains were. I said I didn’t want to be around when the chains snapped. (Now in case your thinking ahead here, what you think happened didn’t.) So we get the two tractors hooked together, and Dan pulls with the 10. The chain came unhooked. I re-hooked it. Again Daniel pulls. The hook and about four links of chain pull off of the one chain. I re-hook again. Once more the 10 moves forward. Then it happened (don’t worry yet). The chain snapped. And landed in a pile in the snow. So we take another trip back to the house where my truck is parked with three logging chains in the back. Unfortunately the chains were frozen in. Fortunately I was able to get them out. Back to the hill where Ford sits stranded. This time we have enough chain that the 10 will be on level ground to pull. So we’re laying out the chains and hooking everything up….I hook one chain to the front of Ford, but this one has a frozen link in it. It’s not good to pull on a link of chain sideways so I throw my weight into it to break it loose. It broke loose all right. The chain from the tractor that is. The hook came up and hit me just under the eye, leaving a nasty gash (well maybe it’s not that bad, but it sure don’t look too pretty either), and more of the chain hit me in the mouth. Thank the good Lord for that permanent retainer that the orthodontics people put in–that’s the only reason I can think of that I am writing tonight with all of my teeth still in my head. The one tooth is moved slightly out of position but considering the force of the blow, not bad. Apparently the cut on my cheek bone was bleeding quite freely, since the blood was dripping off of my nose and chin….So I did what anyone would do in such circumstances–grabbed a handful of snow and held it to my cheek. Works quite well really, the snow is cold, the pressure helps stop the bleeding, and the snow also absorbs quite a bit of the blood. It is also fairly prevalent. The injury sustained didn’t kill me by any means so we continued hooking up the tractors and pulled the hay into the field. I wasn’t much help pushing the bales off since I was clutching snow and ice to my face, but we got ‘er done and I drove Ford home and deposited the wagons by the hay pile and parked her in the barn. Then we went to the house to wash the extra blood off and see exactly what was what.”

Now y’all have a good time readin’ that did ya? Almost written in a kinda entertaining style if I do say so myself. (Which I guess I just kinda did)

Well for Christmas this year, What’s that? Oh, you want to know how the whole story turns out? Now this is where all them big time authors would leave you hanging till the next post…which in my case might be some time right along about the middle of May…2010 ;-)

But I guess I’m in a kinda ramblin’ mood tonight so why not finish up the story ‘eh?

Here goes: I went in the house washed off the blood, got a professional (sort of (no offense)) opinion from Mr. W. (“it don’t need stitches”), got a wet cloth to hold against it (in a continuing effort (and becoming more successful) to stem the tide of blood), got into the truck and drove home. Mom patched ‘er up really good with one of them there surgical sutures replacements, the steri-strip, butterfly bandage type thingys. So in the long run (now that it’s healed) I’ve got a little scar under my left eye (to match the one over my right eye on my forehead that I got from banging my head on a bed headboard when I was little (all you little kids out there take note: jumping on the bed is potentially dangerous. And I’d do it anyway (provided your folks don’t mind)). Nothing to fuss over really.

Now on to more interesting things.

Grama came up on Christmas Eve, so we’ve been doing lots of game playing (in between feeling really poorly and just laying around watching the old TV shows we got for Christmas on DVD (like Hogan’s Heroes and Gomer Pyle) At least with all the laying around and doing nothing I’ve got pretty well rested up. And I managed to avoid, Um that is to say, I very unfortunately missed out on the two extended family Christmas parties. (I’m such a Scrooge :-)) Oh well, at least now I’m ready to get back to work. All the laying around has half killed me, especially all of the feeling well enough to do a little but not well enough to do much (if ya catch my drift). And I reckon I’d better jump back into doing something before I get too used to doing nothing (it might be catching, kinda like this blasted bug) (not exactly sure who I’d catch it from, but ya’ll know how it goes.)

And now I can’t think of anything especially exciting (telling the end to that there boring story done made me forget them all) so I’ll sign off. (With nary a promise nor hint of another post anytime soon.) (so there!) (But the next one I just might try to make a little bit serious….You never know ;-)…..)

Matthew